Benedict Leigh’s posterous

Dance me through the panic 'til I'm gathered safely in

Dance Me To The End Of Love (Leonard Cohen)

Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin
Dance me through the panic 'til I'm gathered safely in
Lift me like an olive branch and be my homeward dove
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the end of love
Oh let me see your beauty when the witnesses are gone
Let me feel you moving like they do in Babylon
Show me slowly what I only know the limits of
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the end of love

Dance me to the wedding now, dance me on and on
Dance me very tenderly and dance me very long
We're both of us beneath our love, we're both of us above
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the end of love

Dance me to the children who are asking to be born
Dance me through the curtains that our kisses have outworn
Raise a tent of shelter now, though every thread is torn
Dance me to the end of love

Dance me to your beauty with a burning violin
Dance me through the panic till I'm gathered safely in
Touch me with your naked hand or touch me with your glove
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the end of love
Dance me to the end of love

Family History: we meet the past in unexpected ways and surprising places.

On of my distant relatives is collating a family tree. It contains fascinating details that make me want to know more, and wish I had more than half remembered family stories. I know about Francis and Hedwig (but didn't know he was born in Georgetown). I know part of the family lived in Germany and part in England. I heard my grandfather talk about getting a train from Switzerland to London during the first world war (blacked out windows across the front lines). I've seen family photos and looked into the past.

This is my great grandfather. Francis Xavier Leung.  Born May 9, 1878 in Georgetown, British Guiana.  Died in Las Palmas, off the coast of Spain) on May 6, 1916.  He was a barrister. Records show that he became a Puny Judge. He migrated to England. Married June 18, 1904 in Fulham, London, England to Hedwig Selma Weintraub. Born in Berlin, Germany, December 26, 1880. Died in Sutton Coldfield, Warwickshire, England on February 15, 1972.

And now I want to know more. How did Francis move from Georgetown to London? Where did he meet Hedwig? The journey from Georgetown and Berlin to Sutton Coldfield is twisted and I can only see it dimly through family memories. I regret that my father didn't write down more before he died, and that my memories are limited.

In praise of a consultation process

There is currently a pause in the process and we're in a consultation
phase. The service model has been produced. This feels like a sensible
point at which to pause and reflect on the consultation process that
has led to this draft.

It's with some shock that I find myself saying that the process was
good (given the external constraints that surrounded it). It's been my
usual experience, and seems to be the experience of other people, that
statutory authorities enter the "consultation" process with an answer
that they then proceed to ask people about. This hasn't happened in
this case. The process has felt open, radically transparent, and
genuinely engaging in dialogue. The final draft of the paper looks
completely different - in content as well as in form - from the
earlier drafts. It feels like the result of a process of discussion
and negotiation rather than a predetermined answer.

The question I'm asking myself is - why? What made this process feel
different? I've come up with two related but different things that
made this work.

The first is risk taking. The person in charge of the consultation
shared early drafts with the project group, admitted that they weren't
sure of the answers, and passed on information about the constraints
surrounding the redesign. Many of the constraints weren't exactly a
surprise (financial and policy drivers) - what was a surprise was the
willingness of the PCT to court criticism in being open about them.

The second factor was a willingness to listen and, more importantly,
change things. I've written long policy documents that factor in input
from a range of sources. I know how difficult it is, especially on a
tight time-scale, to discard and rework a huge amount of modelling and
writing. This process was felt very open to input from carers, service
users, and providers.

This is something I intend to learn from.

Little red wagon, little red bike, I ain't no monkey but I know what I like

Sometimes covers get to the heart of a song. Neko Case does Bob Dylan's Buckets of Rain more than justice. This is one of those songs that sits in my head and comes back to me demanding to be listened to.

Buckets of Rain (Bob Dylan)

Buckets of rain, buckets of tears
I got all them buckets comin' out of my ears
I got buckets of moonbeams in my hand
And you got all the love, honey baby, I can stand

I been meek, hard like an oak
I seen pretty people disappear like smoke
And friends will arrive and disappear
You want me, honey baby, I'll be here

Like your smile and your fingertips
And like the way you move your hips
And I like the cool way you look at me
Everything about you is bringing me misery

Little red wagon, little red bike
I ain't no monkey but I know what I like
And I like the way you love me strong and slow
I'm takin' you with me, honey baby, when I go

Hey, life is sad and life is a bust
All you can do is do what you must
Then you do what you must do and do it well
I'll do it for you, honey baby, can't you tell?

It's buckets of rain, buckets of tears
I got all them buckets comin' out of my ears
I got buckets of moonbeams in my hand
You got all the love, honey baby, I can stand
You got all the love, honey baby, I can stand
Hey, you got all the love, honey baby, I can stand

Songs like Madeleines

Some songs have entered my subconscious have the power, at just the first words, to throw me back to childhood. I was sitting at work writing a presentation when this came up on my iTunes. I was suddenly sitting in a Volkswagen dormobile driving along the shores of a loch whilst my father sang this song and we all sung along. This was probably followed by complaints, squabbling, and a game of just a minute (which I only lost if other people cheated!).

The Red Flag
The people's flag is deepest red
It shrouded oft our martyred dead
And ere their limbs grew stiff and cold
Their hearts' blood dyed to every fold

Chorus:
Then raise the scarlet standard high
Beneath its folds we'll live and die
Though cowards flinch and traitors sneer
We'll keep the red flag flying here

It waved above our infant might
When all ahead seemed dark as night
It witnessed many a deed and vow
We must not change its colour now

Chorus

It well recalls the triumphs past
It gives the hope of peace at last
The banner bright, the symbol plain
Of human right and human gain

Chorus

It suits today the meek and base
Whose minds are fixed on pelf and place
To cringe beneath the rich man's frown
And haul that sacred emblem down

Chorus

With heads uncovered swear we all
To bare it onward till we fall
Come dungeons dark or gallows grim
This song shall be our parting hymn

Kate McGarrigle - a great loss

And I hardly believe she was 63. I love Kate and Anna's version of the
swimming song (which I can't find their version of on YouTube) so this
is Dancer with Bruised Knees (also beautifully done). More details
here - http://www.cbc.ca/canada/montreal/story/2010/01/19/mcgarrigle-kate-obit.html

Here's a version of The Swimming Song by Lew Dite

*Dancer with Bruised Knees*
When I first knew her she was a dancer
She'd leap (confidently)
Knowing that should she fall
It would be into the arms of her partner
She never failed to get a curtain call
For years we had been one with the stars
A Pas de Deux of reknown
I'd leap and he'd catch me on the fly
And gently he'd put me down
The heights that I reached were dangerous
And I saw my partner strain
And felt when I had landed
His strength was on the wane
Back before my knees were blue
Backs broke bending in a step for two
For years we had been one with the stars
A Pas de Deux of reknown
I'd leap and he'd catch me on the fly
But once I came crashing down
Now I'm a weaver
Wall-hangings if you please
In everyone I feature
A dancer with bruised knees
Doop do.....

*Swimming Song*
This summer I went swimming
This summer I might have drowned
But I held my breath, I kicked my feet
Moved my arms around
I moved my arms around

This summer I swam in the ocean
And I swam in a swimming pool
Salt my wounds, chlorined my eyes
I'm a self-destructive fool
Self-destructive fool

This summer I did the back stroke
And you know that that's not all
I did the breast stroke, the butterfly
And the old Australian crawl
The old Australian crawl

This summer I swam in a public place
And a reservoir to boot
At the latter I was informal
At the former I wore my suit
I wore my swimming suit

Oh, this summer I did swan dives
And jack-knives for you all
And once when you weren't looking
I did a cannon-ball
I did a cannon-ball

This summer I went swimming
This summer I might have drowned
But I held my breath, I kicked my feet
And moved my arms around
I moved my arms around

More Quotes

"liberals like people with their heads, radicals like people with both
their heads and their hearts." ~Saul Alinsky~

I dreamed I saw a tree full of angels, up on Primrose Hill
And I flew with them over the Great Wen till I had seen my fill
Of such poverty and misery sure to tear my soul apart
I've got a socialism of the heart, I've got a socialism of the heart
~Billy Bragg~

"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to
please everybody." ~Bill Cosby~

“May your coming year be filled with magic and dreams and good
madness. I hope you read some fine books and kiss someone who thinks
you’re wonderful, and don’t forget to make some art - write or draw or
build or sing or live as only you can. And I hope, somewhere in the
next year, you surprise yourself.” ~Neil Gaiman~

"I do not have an hyperactive imagination, I just happen to live in an
underactive universe." ~Anthony Liekens~

Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be
normal. ~Albert Camus~

The three-chord democracy of rock’n’roll has left in its trail the
corpses of many a crappy record. ~Neven Mrgan~

"what is real but compassion as we move from birth to death " ~Greg Brown~

Haiti - donate now

Yellow Bird written by Oswald Durand

I'm thankful for my luck, and happy I have a warm home and a roof over my head. Many people don't in Haiti at the moment.  Everyone who can should consider donating now.

If you don't know an effective local charity in Haiti (and I don't) the best way to donate (in the UK) is via the Disasters Emergency Committee. They make sure the money goes to effective organisations delivering on the ground.

Pony tails, growing up, and competance

I love watching Ruth brush her hair in the morning as she gets ready for school. It's done with a sense of purpose and acomplishment. The hair brushed back, the pony tail formed, the band (carefully placed on the wrist prior to starting) slipped round and given two turns for safety, the final brush for smoothness and neatness.

It ends with neat hair and a readiness for the day. I like it for lots of reasons. The competance and panache, the unthinking demonstrated skill, the slight satisfaction in a job well done. I like the fact she can do things I can't do, and do them excellently.

Snow!

           

Click here to download:

snow-gBnnvcgDgJstwetBFqwr.zip (2702 KB)